Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Bye, Bye Love

Substitution, mass confusion clouds inside my head!

I've had that song by The Cars, Bye Bye Love, running through my head all day long. Now, it's past midnight, I'm not the least bit sleepy and I'm singing along with it!

Oh, it's an orangey sky. On eyes at some other guy! Just a broken lullaby. Bye, bye love.....

I loved The Cars. But not as much as my brother Matthew did. He was a huge fan. To this day, I can't hear a Cars tune and think of him, in his bedroom, playing their LPs on his turntable. We had such a rough time back in those days. Things that bring you joy or freedom, like music, become very highly prized in situations like that. I would watch him sometimes from a distance and wish I could escape into the music the way he did. But,then, I was jealous of all of his merits, which were many. Since becoming an adult, I've no longer been jealous of him. I've just been in huge admiration of him. He succeeds at everything he tries. And he tries everything. He's a hero of mine. I often wish I had his drive, his energy, his unbelievably creative mind, his sharp, quick wit, his sensitivity. It's funny how when we're kids, we sometimes want nothing more than to get away from our siblings. Only as adults to so wish we had more time with them.

Well, I'm heading off to bed soon. I was going to go to bed earlier but my friend Val called. We haven't talked in a while and we not only got caught up on each other's lives but also got each other laughing off problems that had seemed huge when they were solely contained within our minds. I love Val. Because she keeps going. No matter what. She finds a way and figures it out and keeps moving. And also because she has always been there for me when I've needed her. You can't ask for more than that, now, can you?

So, good night. I'll hopefully be inspired to write again soon.......

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